CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Hiding the Secret

Evening. I was calm throughout the day, but worry how I will bear the next ten or twelve days before our guests' departure. When they are gone, how shall I bear the next months or years of my future life with that man—my greatest enemy. No one could hurt me the way he has. I loved him so foolishly, and trusted him completely! I no longer love my husband—I HATE him! And, I believe he will never feel guilty for the pain he has caused me.

Mr Hargrave has annoyed me all day long with his extreme politeness. I do not trust that man, although his kindness may be true. He seems to want to speak to me alone, but I do not wish to speak to him nor anyone else about the terrible news about my husband.

Earlier today, while the gentlemen were out hunting, I was in the sitting room with the other ladies. Lady Lowborough was quite talkative, and wanted to have a conversation with me. I want never to speak to that woman again. I sat nearby reading a book, and finally, could not bear her speaking to me. Soon enough, I wrote her a short message on a page in my book. And passed it to her.

"I know your behaviour quite well, and know that there is no real friendship between us. I must ask that you never speak to me as you would to a friend, as I am not your friend."

As she read, she became silent, looking quite embarrassed. She then stood up and came to me, speaking in a whisper.

"Helen, please let me speak to you for a moment."

I informed her that I knew of her love affair with my husband. She was silent for some time.

"Will you tell Lord Lowborough?" she asked me, looking quite worried.

"What if I do?"

"Well, I hope you do not tell him, and would be thankful to you if you did not tell him."

"I shall not tell him, but only because I do not want to upset your dear husband. I hope you will realise how selfish you are, and soon regret what you have done," I paused. "And now, Lady Lowborough, I hope you will leave this house immediately—"

"Yes, yes, of course," she said, interrupting me, "But Helen, I cannot go early. I have no reason to leave early, all the guests would have suspicions about my early departure. Please allow me to stay until the other guests leave, as well. Only a week longer. I will not annoy you anymore."

"Well! I have nothing more to say to you!"

"Have you mentioned this affair to Huntingdon?" she asked as I was leaving the room.

"Do not mention his name to me!" was my answer to her.

I have not spoken to Lady Lowborough since that evening.

(end of section)